Monday, February 27, 2012

life goes on....

So, i guess the more astute visitors may have recognized that i have had a loss. it has not been easy. but... i guess it could have been worse.....

it has been two days, i managed to get pretty drunk the day of... not that it helped the hurt at all....

most of the crying seems to be under control, but little things still set me off on a crying jag... difficult when your second life is hidden from your real life.. let me tell you...

She was very thoughtful even in the end, She had my feelings foremost in Her mind. She went through great lengths to speak with me directly, opting to spend a few moments with me... there i go... i thought i could do this, shit missus is downstairs i dont wanna cry right now.....

ok, nicole, stay tough.. get through this... She arranged for me to be in the care of another. She went so far as to arrange another Mistress in O/our circle of friends to take me on, take care of, and look after me. She knew i couldnt be soo alone.....

oomg, this is so sad...

so... i have a new family, and they are all pretty nice, very sweet and careing. shit ... they put up with me running away and crying randomly the first day we met... no-one has called me crazy yet, yet. My new owner is understanding of my grief, but... she wants me to take her name.. as a member of the family, that is expected.. but i dont want to lose Her name in the exchange... im gonna try to compromise with a hyphen, but idk if that will fly... no matter what my profile page says.. i will always be nicole Pennysworth.

i seem to have no sex drive atm. even my daily porn addiction seems, idk, rude, at the moment. i guess it's because nothing can compare to Her. Funny thing is? the morning after? i woke up with missus in bed.. my hard on was as strong as its ever been... missus decided to give me a handy - which she never does... eventually though, ya know, i had to take over, but then, missus next to me, reached down and truly felt me up, just as a boyfriend would do to a girlfriend, she fingered me like a girl, and the whole time? Princess was over my shoulder, smiling. it was Her, She did that for me, made me feel truely girly, i guess it was a parting gift... idk, im so confused.

i guess the only REAL upside is... i feel Her. i feel Her with me, watching me. all. the. time. i talk to Her.. is that crazy? i mean, even when She was gone for weeks at a time... i felt alone, but only alone. Now, im alone, for good this time, but idk, not alone too. it's like, She stayed with me. i hope She never leaves. i need Her close to me.

please continue to protect me Princess, i have always tried to be your good girl.



1 comment:

  1. Your not crazy!

    "We never stop loving someone, we just learn to live without them"

    Go easy on yourself will ya, easy to say I know, it hurts bad.

    Focusing on work, works for me!

    *Hugs*

    luv,
    J.

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