A Cautionary Tale for the Sissy's Tail

So... there i was... dreaming... trancing. i was tied and had promised myself no cummies. i was still touching though, light girly rubs, the occasional smack to the eggs, massaging my back pussy lips.

Watching videos of sissy love. Two delightfully fem crossdressers, softly kissing, holding each other. Playfully exploring each others soft feminized bodies was causing my sissy mind to think of my beautiful sister wife.

My sexy clown. My best friend. My beautiful Sistrix - Twinkles Greymyst.

She makes such a pretty dolly... doesn't she? ^^

My eyes closed, visions of times when she was on top of me, other moments when i was her Top, the love, the sex, the intimacy we share.... Fuck my clitty was standing tall, my fingers rubbing my hole vigorously, i could feel it wink in need.

Opening my eyes, i see it.... my friend the lotion bottle. *giggles* She and i have had lots of games before. She not the largest item to penetrate me, but the largest i take normally. Her stretch is something i need to workup to. This time, however, my sissy head was filled with such lust and need....

I was in such a sissy clowny mood. Tweaking my nipples, hearing them *HONK* inside my head, *giggles* as i teased my hole, dreaming of my sister's tongue. It certainly didn't help that  the lotion was such a cute and clowny fun style! An old xmas gift that came in a sampler, no one ever uses it, 'cept me of course! :P It has a candy smell, is lavender colored, with plenty of glitter mixed throughout. "Glittery Gumdrop' - How appropriate for a silly sissy like me! I knew my sis would approve. ^^

Tell me that's NOT the cutest lotion you've ever seen!

Yes, i was going to fill myself up with my sister's clowny penis. Now.... lemme stop right here and remind you... normally i have to workup to this bottle. It's easily 2+ inches across. I don't insert the cap end, because i'm worried about the edges... so it's always bottom side up. The flat surface makes it a bit difficult to insert, but once in... there's a nice slow burn as my hole opens for the plastic intruder. This time though... i was hot... i needed it... as there was little waiting.

Lube... i needed lube. The lotion itself? MMmmmm... idk..... would the glitter be rough on my sensitive insides? It's it safe to use internally? Spit! Spit works! I was emboldened by my recent use of my plug, simply gagging on the fully inserted plug down my throat, then imeadiately up my hole... but this wasn't the same. The bottle isn't tapered, throat  slime only really comes up from the gag.... regardless, i lubed the rounded rim as much as i could with my tongue, squatted, closed my eyes to imagine my circus wife behind me, holding my hips, as i guided her fat sissy stick up inside my cunt.

OMG... she hurt.... she was stretching so much! And it was sooooo hard to get her in! I had to push and wiggle, and almost rest my entire weight to get her inside. And when she did! OOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!! The burn! It lasted MUCH longer than normal before i could even think about any motion.

Finally, my hole settled down. I could wiggle her a bit. There was almost no in and out. I realized (too late) that maybe the lotion as lube would have been a better idea. Never the less, i had a sissy job to finish. So with the images of being taken, of giving myself completely over to my Second Life Wife.... i rode her fat prick until i managed a wonderfully girly sissygasm.

After my heart stopped pounding, i examined and was very happy to see only long traces of drippy clear pre flowing from my sex, a quick taste confirmed no real cummies. I was still a good girl and was feeling quite sissy satified. :)

Time to remove the intruder. Damn... it was lodged tight. And not really moving due to the lack of lube. A push, a soft pull, relax.... a push and pull, push, pushPOP! She popped out loose as my insides felt as if they were falling out. A tender reach back with my fingers.... omg... my hole was completely turned out! Sissy pussy lips indeed!

I lubed my fingers and softly guided my lips back inside. It was not the first time i accidentally had a prolapse... but it has been a long time since. I thought i learned my lesson. Okay... a silent vow... no more butt fucking for at least a week. Let yourself HEAL you stupid cock starved sissy!

Later on... the real damaged had been discovered. I'll save you the gory pictures.... but just know this.... it's one thing to have swollen pussy lips, perverse and sexy even, under the right circumstances. It is an entirely other thing however, to have a busted o-ring. Owwwie.

So this sissy sits tender for a few days. Restocking on the creams and wipes was a humiliating, yet, fun experience. While at the drugstore, i decided that as long as the cashier was going to know i had butt trouble..... hehe... i was going to show off a tiny bit :P

A true sissy shopping trip!

Soo.... the moral of this story? It's been said again and again.... but lube hun, lube, and lube, then lube again!

*kisses!*

Where have you been?!?

Questions & Answers

i have recently returned from the brink of being lost. This sissy was / is / may yet be in a 'bad place'. Do not be concerned, perhaps my tendency to use hyperbole is evident today.

Yes, i have been absent for a while. Not only from here, but from my Second Life as well. Sissy Slut Nicolette hasn't been feeling well.

But the question(s) i get so much upon return is... "why? Are you okay?" I know that this is merely an expression of concern, of love, and caring. My Friends, my family, my sisters.... they only care about me. They only want to help me in anyway they can - so... i understand. The problems is... How do i answer that?

Do i lie and leave all details vague, simply state that real life has kept me away? Do i blame my missus for being an overbearing monster (not the case btw). Do i tell the truth and burden my friends with worry and concern? DO i invite more discussion and attempts to reach out? idk.

idk how to handle it. So... i turn back to here.

OK, the truths? Ive been seriously depressed. Manic. Up and Down... well... certainly more down than up. Ive been hiding with my clowny wife, under the covers, watching lots and lots of TV, playing video games, and generally avoiding any kind of life - real or second or otherwise. I wait for those short, but daily moments when i can share some time and love with my sisterwife. Being around her is the only times i smile anymore, the only time i feel a bit comfortable. She has tried to bring me back out of this self imposed protective shell of withdrawal, but ive also taught her... that times like these... really... what i need is love and comfort and support - which she has brought to me in spades. i Love that Clown.

In Real Life? Missus is oblivious. She never sees any of the mental anguish i go through everyday. Not really surprising considering that she refused to acknowledge my daily physical sufferings, but - that's another posting.

She discovered my panty wearing. THAT was a stressful day(s). Again, that whole story is another posting, maybe if ppl wanna hear about it, let me know. Long story short - i was stupid and she found a pair of unknowingly discarded panties, and i had to fess up before she started in on me cheating. I explained that they were mine, that i liked to wear girls pantie, that i had a few of my own, after stealing some of hers. i told her i was not gay (lie) and that i didn't want a man (lie) and that it wasn't sexual (lie) and that it just made me feel pretty, kinda sexy, and overall 'good' inside. She was upset that i had been hiding it. She is still confused by it, and doesn't understand how i would like to wear pink lacy panties, but NOT really want to be a girl (i guess her confusion is understandable - because that is exactly what i want!). So, yeah - i am a no good liar... and prolly deserve any hardship that comes my way. At least now... well now my panties are clean, cause she lets me put them in her wash. Although... when i was forced o wash them in the shower, i never went without them. Now, once they enter her wash... it may be a couple of weeks before i see them again, and that sucks.

i rejected most of my sissy life for a while. i stopped wearing, stopped acting out... i even tried to stop fucking my hole.

Of course... that didn't last very long.

Now... when missus and i have sex... there is never any proper intercourse with penetration of penis inside of vagina. Now a days... maybe once every week or two... she will feel the urge.... and, well, eventually we end up with her fingers in my pussy as i wank like a fairy, calling out for her to fuck my pussy, fill me up, make me her bitch... till i cum all over. Then, i am expected to service her, like a good sissy, using my seed as finger lube on her clitty. She hasn't caught me scooping my cum into my mouth yet.

recently... i have been working my puckered hole over so much, so often, that there is little chance of me ever spurting again without something inside me. Missus even commented on how slack i was this very morning. Also... she noticed my pussy was wet too. That's right - this sissy is self lubricating, hehe.

Anyways... depression is a bitch. I can feel so UP and giggly and excited, only to have things turn around suddenly, bringing me low and sad and 'touchy'. Little things make the sadness wash over me. I willing was avoiding SL... and then i would see my sister logged in... and i would get so upset... so angry and confused and sad. Ive been crying almost daily. And im sure it doesn't help what time of year it is.

Yeah, forgot to mention.... since my mid teens - pretty much October through Easter... my mood isn't great. Depression is normal for me, always has been, but this time of year is the worst - for many different reasons.

Not the least of which? February. February is the time of my Missus' birthday (stressful cause i'm broke, shes really picky, and since shes exactly 10 yrs older - all of HER age 'crisis' are always  before, and overwhelms any anxiety i am allowed to have over my own age). February is the time of Valentine's Day (see above gift giving stress). February is the time of my own b-day (yeah, see above again - christ, just once i would like to get some sympathy for growing old). Finally.. and well, most importantly, February 25th. That's the day i last spoke with my Princess. That's the day we parted ways, in this world at least. Yeah, it still hurts - lots.

i miss Her so much. Everyday. i wonder if She sees my tears wherever She is? Is it bad to express that sometimes... sometimes.... i kinda wish, i hope that She was lieing to me? That whoever She is / was - that maybe that soul is still here, in this world with us, they maybe, the one who made me feel so true, that maybe that soul is doing okay. i hope so.

And even now, while trying to deal with the grief that never ever seems to go too far away, now... i have been trying to comprehend my situation with another Domme i am close to - with a Domme, i wish i was closer to. Is She going to leave me as well? If She does, will i be able to keep this overwhelming sadness hidden? i couldn't last time. i had to come out to my friend... mostly... cause i couldn't keep it in anymore. Am i a total asshole for only thinking about myself when a loved one is in such peril?

Yeah... no one wants to hear any of this. i know.

That's why i haven't been around.

That's why i have choosen to only snuggle in my clownie's arms, safe from the bad feelings, safe from the tears... at least, for a little while.

*hugs

Nico
XoXo

She Took my Cummies Away From me :(

IDK if ya'll have been payin attention or not, but at the top of the page you can see a counter keeping track of times between my cummies (both gurl and boi types). Mainly.... its a way of self-reinforcement of proper sissy behavior. i quickly discovered that when i had to update my boi cummies more than the sissygasms, that i felt like i was being bad. It became easier to enforce my self denial that way.

Well.... i had gotten up to ten days with no boi cummies.. and i have recently been abusing my pussy more and more in my lust frenzy. i knew (from past experiences) that soon i would be prime for either a large hands free spurt... or i would be able to have a real good cummie as i was playing online with my beautiful clowny fiance`. (Check out my SecondLife posts for more info). i made a promise to myself.. to nicolette... Clowny gets my load... or the VERY least (if i just couldn't wait), a proper sissy self-milking.

Enter the missus.

Hehe... keep reblogging this and lets keep this slut locked up!

Shawna the Bizarre Sissy: Chastity: As of right now I have 18 days of Chastity left.  But that number is ever evolving.  I have several different determining factors that cha...

Gonna Be One of Those Days..... i can tell

If you wake up and NEED to be fucked.... crave the strong hard-on inside your pussy, wanting to be used and abused.... you know you are in for a loooong day.

So today? Tell me.... be my Big Daddy and put your thing inside of me, over and over... i have two sexy holes for you Daddy. They are yours .... for use.. for your pleasure. Use me, open me, dump in me, discard me.

Dare to Dream

My Sissy Snack Bag

i don't know where i saw the phrase first... was somewhere on my regular blog visits.... 'sissy snack bag'. i was enthralled by the idea.

Makes my mouth water... for real.

Sod off

So i havent posted in a while... i knows, pleaze dont me mad at me.

Its just... sometimes? i dont feel girly enough to post, or im sad, or worried, or angry, or hurt, or any number of a ton of reasons why i can't.

Sowwy. ((not really - go stuff your bum if you cant handle it))

1.Insert 2.Remove 3.Repeat

i mean? what do you want me to post? That a loved one has deteriating health? or how lonely i am? or how much i wish life was over? or maybe... nah... that still hurts too much to share. Go eff yourself. What do you want?!?!

Seems so hard lately.. idk... too many reasons to be down.

Can't have EVERY post be a debbie downer... so if im not feeling it, or i think ive been too negative... maybe... i. just. wont. post.

But then... i see your veiws again and again, after weeks with no update... and i feel guilty.

So... a post about why i havent been posting. enjoy.

i hate this

why do i feel compelled? why cant i stop?

Sissy Status Update (The Good & The Bad)

So... i guess i should start with the good news! Princess and i are Wife and wife! YAY! She offered Her partnership to me and i quickly accepted about a week ago! She makes me sooo happy! Thank You my Princess for taking this sissy as Yours!