The Consequences of Anal Training

i lay on my back, legs in the air, the gusset of my lace fringed panties pulled aside. my eggs delightfully trapped in the cute cotton, while my chubby sissy stick poked out the top enough to rub and fondle. Her wet lips caressed my thigh as she licked my clean underside, lubing me for the main event.

A small tickle, a tiny bit of touch, barely perceptible."You're loose."

"MMmmmm...." was all i could reply. my sissy thoughts racing immediately to the constant pounding my rubber Daddy delivers to my needy pussy almost daily.

"Why are you so loose?" Some soft rubbing inside. She is humping my leg slightly, i can feel the warmth radiating from her sex.

"You make me hot *sexy smile*" The safest answer.

i hunch my hips and open my cheeks trying to feel a bit more of that amazing thumping inside my hole. It's not enough. Reaching around, i feel her index finger curled, she's only using her middle finger. A little proding and manipluating, and i get her first two digits inside.

"Mmmmmm" My pre flows over my crown, wetting and allowing my sissy fingers to rub it shamelessly. Opening my eyes, i watch her breasts heave and she humps and rubs her quim harder on me, her arm thrusting as she works my bitch hole.

i hump up and down, showing her my need to fuck. It's not enough. Another reach and i have three fingers opening my cunt nicely. That's it. That's the  magic.

Rubbing, rubbing my clitty. Eyes slitted. She's fucking me. Fucking my hole. i am muttering the most faggiest of utterances. "Fuck me. Fuck my Pussy. Oh, Fuck, Thats Right.. Fuck Me, Oh Fuck, Fuck My Puusssyyy!" i cum hard. Over and over. Six, seven hard loads. Not a spurt - that doesn't seem to happen anymore. It's more like a flow. A flooding overflowing the constraints of my piss hole. Flowing over my swollen head and over my squeezing fingers.

She keeps me penetrated as i come down. my sissy hips hunching up and down slightly, my hole still spasming less and less. With a steady pull, she empties my hole as she climbs over, rubbing her sex into the mess on my belly, quickly shrinking clitty and my poor abused panties.

Staying doggy style over me, her tits in my face, i service her digitally, the way she prefers - wishing the whole time i could lick her clean.

---- A short time later ---

"So..... why were you so fucking open?"

"i don't know.... i guess i needed it."

"Are you gonna wear your girly panties today?" <sneer>

"i dont know." i didn't.

------------------

Last time i i removed my hair... well.. last few times.... i've been making the clean area larger and larger. What started as only shaving my clit and eggs, has progressed to the tops of my thighs to just bellow my bellybutton, with a sexy patch above my pricklette. Last time i even shaved a small ring around my nipples. As i am quite hairy, it is noticeable, however its a small ricng of clean area, so not hugely different.

i hope my strategy of slow but consistent limit stretching is working on her. So far... no blow ups. But then again, her history is to take take take then explode. i hope that doesn't happen. How long will this take?

Panty-wearing princess - EXPOSED!

I mentioned recently that i had been discovered by my missus as a panty luver. Here are the details for anyone who loves to witness a humiliated sissy.....

I told you all about my recent dip into depression. During this time i did try to deny myself the joys of my secret sissy life. What an exercise in futility!   Sure enough... it wasn't too long before i swung the other way and became obsessive again.

I started to wear my panties obsessively everyday. In my home, under my boy clothes, out in public,  no shame, no second thoughts, i was satisfying my inner gurl no doubt . The thing is.... i would get more and more relaxed about the whole thing, i started to get forgetful, and making stupid mistakes.

Observant readers might remember that i have mentioned before how i would on occasion forget i was wearing them, and then, attempt to get into bed, or get changed for bed, in front of my missus. The only thing that would save me was the sudden realization that i have girly pink lace on my bum, and the fact that she wasn't really observant herself. Lots of quick excuses to go to the bathroom, and a quick change was the method for escaping these near misses.

More recently, i would be home, wearing, and forget to change my undies before missus came home from her workkie. Like a good sissy, i would always greet her shortly after her arrival home. During a quick hug, she started to grab at my bum (unussual for her) or occasionally my clitty. More often than not... i would at that moment realize i had forgotten to remove the panties, and i would think "Can she feel the lace, or the leg holes around my cheeks? Can she feel how my clit is trapped tight in the girly front panel?" This of course is followed by panic, a quick excuse to step away, and a quick change in private, lest she fully discover. You may recall, how i had been wondering if she secretly was offering me her girly shirts and tops and panties too that way she would leave them around our bedroom, on my side / furniture.

So, i focused on being smart(er) and would try to slip the panties off as soon as i heard her walking throught the front door. Sometimes, she would walk right up the stairs to see me, so i had to be quick. My method was such: i would slip one leg out of my pants, then the panties, pull my pants back on quick so as not to be caught 'with my pants down' (pun intended :P ) and then, safely, slip my panties down the other (clothed) leg in relative hidden safety. A couple of times..... i forgot to follow through with the last part (removing the stuffed fabric from my other leg - panties bunched around one thigh inside my pajama pants).

Can you see where this is going?

So, one day, a few weeks back at this point, i thought i heard her pull up out front. I slipped the panties down my leg, pulled my pants up, and went into the front bedroom (ours) to look out the windows - sure enough... her car was there. I went down to greet her like a good bf, and everything was fine - or so i thought.

She came upstairs eventually, entering the bedroom. Across the hall, in my office, i heard the bellow that made me grow cold and panic..... "WHO'S PANTIES ARE THESE!?!?!?! THEY ARE NOT MINE!"

*gulp*

I ran into the room, shutting the door quick as everyone else was home. She was holding a the pair of black bikinis with pink trim and silver hearts. They had been in a small pile on the bedroom floor, near the window i was spying from. They must have fallen down my leg to escape off my foot - because i FORGOT TO ACTUALLY REMOVE THEM FROM MY OTHER LEG! ((stupid ass!)) ((And just so you understand a bit better... i'm a partially paralyzed girl, so... i don't have the same skin sensations as all of you - it IS feasible that i could have no idea that fabric is sliding down my leg, tangling my foot, etc)) A quick debate in my head regarding my options.... i knew there was only one... come clean.

*giggles* Toe lover alert! Shamefully, i realize now i should have painted them for that photo session :P

"The-They're.... mine."

"WHAT? What do you mean?!" she asked through slitted, disbelieving eyes.

I explained.... they were my panties. I liked to wear girls panties. I used to try hers, but i didnt want to ruin them, so.... i thoughtfully went out and bought my own. (Trying to gain points for being considerate.)

Of course... she had lots and lots of questions. The first and foremost was.... Why? Do you want to be a girl?

The moment of truth.

I wish i could relate a story of how i came out, was honest and truthful, how i have begun my life as a fully realized cross dresser, with transgender leanings, but... i didn't. I am nothing if not a scared, frightened, cowardly sissy.

So, i lied.

Without trying to replicate the entire humiliating convo, the short story is this: i own panties and wear them because they make me feel good, warm and nice inside, they make me feel 'pretty', sexy, and... kinda girly. (All true of course.) No, i don't wanna be a  girl. (Lie.) No, i don't want to be with men. (Lie.) No, i'm not gay. (Lie.) No, i don't want to be like those 'man-ladies' she sees occasionally on TV. (Lie. Have i mentioned how prejudiced she is against gays? Like, not the extreme 'God hates...' kinda way, more like 'Ewww, i bet she likes girls', or 'Yuck, why does he have to flaunt it, put it in our faces', if she sees two men kissing or getting married or some such.)

So, i lied. Lots. (Yeah, i know - i've betrayed myself, my inner girl, and everybody like me that is dieing to come out - i feel guilty enough about it, so please don't shit on me because of it.)

And... she accepted it. She's confused, no doubt. I admitted to wearing / liking / wanting panties, but i denied EVERY logical reason, explanation, next step that she asked about. OMG - what a humiliating conversation. I stood there with my hands behind my back, head looking down, blushing hard as she quizzed me. I felt aroused and shamed and excited and relieved, and embarrassed and so much like a pitiful sissy.... it almost made the whole experience ... idk... exciting? Not in a fantasy way... more of like.... for a moment... i truly felt like a little girl, submissive to my missus, how i like to feel.... even if she is too clueless to realize, or capitalize on that.

Up side? She accepted my weirdness... and even agreed to wash them for me (as my boy does mine and his wash... so Dad's panties cant really go in my wash) so at least now they're cleaner than before when i had to sneak-hand-wash them in the shower. Now i can wear whenever i feel like. Although, she doesn't want me wearing them outside, for fear of being caught (like the 'car accident / clean undies scenario), of course... i still do.

Down side? She's really curious, and kinda, idk, accusatory? That's prolly not the correct word for what i mean. It's like, her tone of voice has some hidden accusation, some kind of condemnation behind her words. i still wear and have the same habits. It's still kinda shameful, so i don't flaunt it - old habits die hard. She will ask 'Why havent you worn you girly panties lately?' or ' Are you being girly today?' Yeah, it makes me feel uncomfortable. No more than answering tough questions from a Misstress in SL, but still... because its RL, and my missus... there's a certain amount of further humilaition.

Between my panty wearing.... and the recent changes in our sex life.... she HAS to know what i really am inside.

A dirty, kinky, cock loving, submissive, sissy slut!

Maybe, if i play stupid long enough, maybe she will think that i am in denial, and force me to accept and admit the truth. God i hope so... that would make life sooooo much easier.

Where have you been?!?

Questions & Answers

i have recently returned from the brink of being lost. This sissy was / is / may yet be in a 'bad place'. Do not be concerned, perhaps my tendency to use hyperbole is evident today.

Yes, i have been absent for a while. Not only from here, but from my Second Life as well. Sissy Slut Nicolette hasn't been feeling well.

But the question(s) i get so much upon return is... "why? Are you okay?" I know that this is merely an expression of concern, of love, and caring. My Friends, my family, my sisters.... they only care about me. They only want to help me in anyway they can - so... i understand. The problems is... How do i answer that?

Do i lie and leave all details vague, simply state that real life has kept me away? Do i blame my missus for being an overbearing monster (not the case btw). Do i tell the truth and burden my friends with worry and concern? DO i invite more discussion and attempts to reach out? idk.

idk how to handle it. So... i turn back to here.

OK, the truths? Ive been seriously depressed. Manic. Up and Down... well... certainly more down than up. Ive been hiding with my clowny wife, under the covers, watching lots and lots of TV, playing video games, and generally avoiding any kind of life - real or second or otherwise. I wait for those short, but daily moments when i can share some time and love with my sisterwife. Being around her is the only times i smile anymore, the only time i feel a bit comfortable. She has tried to bring me back out of this self imposed protective shell of withdrawal, but ive also taught her... that times like these... really... what i need is love and comfort and support - which she has brought to me in spades. i Love that Clown.

In Real Life? Missus is oblivious. She never sees any of the mental anguish i go through everyday. Not really surprising considering that she refused to acknowledge my daily physical sufferings, but - that's another posting.

She discovered my panty wearing. THAT was a stressful day(s). Again, that whole story is another posting, maybe if ppl wanna hear about it, let me know. Long story short - i was stupid and she found a pair of unknowingly discarded panties, and i had to fess up before she started in on me cheating. I explained that they were mine, that i liked to wear girls pantie, that i had a few of my own, after stealing some of hers. i told her i was not gay (lie) and that i didn't want a man (lie) and that it wasn't sexual (lie) and that it just made me feel pretty, kinda sexy, and overall 'good' inside. She was upset that i had been hiding it. She is still confused by it, and doesn't understand how i would like to wear pink lacy panties, but NOT really want to be a girl (i guess her confusion is understandable - because that is exactly what i want!). So, yeah - i am a no good liar... and prolly deserve any hardship that comes my way. At least now... well now my panties are clean, cause she lets me put them in her wash. Although... when i was forced o wash them in the shower, i never went without them. Now, once they enter her wash... it may be a couple of weeks before i see them again, and that sucks.

i rejected most of my sissy life for a while. i stopped wearing, stopped acting out... i even tried to stop fucking my hole.

Of course... that didn't last very long.

Now... when missus and i have sex... there is never any proper intercourse with penetration of penis inside of vagina. Now a days... maybe once every week or two... she will feel the urge.... and, well, eventually we end up with her fingers in my pussy as i wank like a fairy, calling out for her to fuck my pussy, fill me up, make me her bitch... till i cum all over. Then, i am expected to service her, like a good sissy, using my seed as finger lube on her clitty. She hasn't caught me scooping my cum into my mouth yet.

recently... i have been working my puckered hole over so much, so often, that there is little chance of me ever spurting again without something inside me. Missus even commented on how slack i was this very morning. Also... she noticed my pussy was wet too. That's right - this sissy is self lubricating, hehe.

Anyways... depression is a bitch. I can feel so UP and giggly and excited, only to have things turn around suddenly, bringing me low and sad and 'touchy'. Little things make the sadness wash over me. I willing was avoiding SL... and then i would see my sister logged in... and i would get so upset... so angry and confused and sad. Ive been crying almost daily. And im sure it doesn't help what time of year it is.

Yeah, forgot to mention.... since my mid teens - pretty much October through Easter... my mood isn't great. Depression is normal for me, always has been, but this time of year is the worst - for many different reasons.

Not the least of which? February. February is the time of my Missus' birthday (stressful cause i'm broke, shes really picky, and since shes exactly 10 yrs older - all of HER age 'crisis' are always  before, and overwhelms any anxiety i am allowed to have over my own age). February is the time of Valentine's Day (see above gift giving stress). February is the time of my own b-day (yeah, see above again - christ, just once i would like to get some sympathy for growing old). Finally.. and well, most importantly, February 25th. That's the day i last spoke with my Princess. That's the day we parted ways, in this world at least. Yeah, it still hurts - lots.

i miss Her so much. Everyday. i wonder if She sees my tears wherever She is? Is it bad to express that sometimes... sometimes.... i kinda wish, i hope that She was lieing to me? That whoever She is / was - that maybe that soul is still here, in this world with us, they maybe, the one who made me feel so true, that maybe that soul is doing okay. i hope so.

And even now, while trying to deal with the grief that never ever seems to go too far away, now... i have been trying to comprehend my situation with another Domme i am close to - with a Domme, i wish i was closer to. Is She going to leave me as well? If She does, will i be able to keep this overwhelming sadness hidden? i couldn't last time. i had to come out to my friend... mostly... cause i couldn't keep it in anymore. Am i a total asshole for only thinking about myself when a loved one is in such peril?

Yeah... no one wants to hear any of this. i know.

That's why i haven't been around.

That's why i have choosen to only snuggle in my clownie's arms, safe from the bad feelings, safe from the tears... at least, for a little while.

*hugs

Nico
XoXo

She Took my Cummies Away From me :(

IDK if ya'll have been payin attention or not, but at the top of the page you can see a counter keeping track of times between my cummies (both gurl and boi types). Mainly.... its a way of self-reinforcement of proper sissy behavior. i quickly discovered that when i had to update my boi cummies more than the sissygasms, that i felt like i was being bad. It became easier to enforce my self denial that way.

Well.... i had gotten up to ten days with no boi cummies.. and i have recently been abusing my pussy more and more in my lust frenzy. i knew (from past experiences) that soon i would be prime for either a large hands free spurt... or i would be able to have a real good cummie as i was playing online with my beautiful clowny fiance`. (Check out my SecondLife posts for more info). i made a promise to myself.. to nicolette... Clowny gets my load... or the VERY least (if i just couldn't wait), a proper sissy self-milking.

Enter the missus.

trying to come out is harder than it seems

An old post... from a few weeks ago... i had typed it, saved it... and... forgot about it.. maybe it was waiting for pictures.. idk.... at this point... idc

Posting it so there's somthin new on the front page.

Update at the bottom.
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"Do you want to be a girl?" She asked as She continued to stroke my firm clit in Her panties. i 'made' Her panty me earlier with the pair She had on. ("Theses are prettier than the ones the other day..." She declared as She held them open for me to step into.)

my arms around Her back, caressing Her bare bottom under the short nighty. "Mmhhmm" was all i could muster, my shame hidden with my face in Her neck. i decided to reply with action. i slipped the nighty over her arms and shoulders, and then quickly over me. Standing there in Her nighty and panties, hugging, Her hand on my VERY stiff clit, nakkie in my arms.....

"Do you want to be a girl?... for real?" She repeated.

"mhmmm" was the best i could do.

"dress me up and... fuck me?"

She smiled. "ok, is that what you want? i'll do that for you.... sometime...."

my sissy hips thrusting in Her hand, waves of sexiness washing over me, imagining Her nakkie form behind me, fucking me, as im dressed like the sissy i NEED to be. "i want to be your sissy bitch".

"you already are," She giggled, "but, you dont look good in my clothes. you're not girly. you have a mans body, you are an ugly girl.... your body... and all the hair... the wiry greys pokin out...."

i stopped myself from pointing out that i tried to broach the subject of removing my body hair a while back... and She shot me down quickly. "i know.... the hair is ugly...." is all i could whisper.

Dejected, we separated, i gave Her back Her nighty, i released Her, turned and went about my day and Her back to Her pursuits before my selfish interruption... but at least im still wearing Her panties.... three days out of four now.. and She has  known the entire time.

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Yeah well.... this is how it seems to go... she is welcoming and playful for a few days... then cold and distant for a few weeks. If i get caught during these.. cold.. times, then all hell breaks loose.. so i wear less... or... stress more. No sex lately (2 weeks?) at all...  Certainly no response that can be considered positive if i call her my Miss, or if i wanna act a little girly, effem... she acts as if shes repulsed.

Yay me.

... and now, reading back over and over... its really quite sad.

Fuck.

Sexy or Sexual?

"mmmmmm... where's Your panties from last night? Put them on me? hehehe"

"whaa?" She cocks Her head and looks to me. Spinning and out to the hallway, She returns with the small fabric in Her hands. "These are probably too small for you...."

"Put them on me." my sissy legs in the air, stiff clit full and standing proud.

She sniffed the cotton, then held them to my nose, the soft scent of Her clean pussy barely evident. Back and forth, She would sniff and find a small source of fragrance, then place them under my nostrils, poking my nose, letting me inhale. She knows my fetish for Her musk and She enjoys it with me. She asks, "Why do you like wearing my panties so much?"

"i dunno.... they make me feel sexy i guess."

There it is. A minor slip of the tongue that i didn't catch... but She sure did.

"Sexy?...or....Sexual?" She asked with an unsure look. i realized the difference between the two, and the implications of what i actually said.... debating my replies quickly... i choose one that kept the sexy door open.

"Ummmmmm.... both, i guess" i giggled as She began slipping the blue cotton bikini's up and over my bubble butt. My hard clit bulging and lewdly displayed in the front of the tight girly undies. My eggs pulled up tight as well, as a round bulge under the clit hose... "hurt me" i requested, displaying my pantied sack.

She pouted but complied, flicking one of my eggs hard, harder, She missed, and a softer hit. She stopped. Inflicting even some soreness is not Her thing, but i like a little bit of ache sometimes.

We went about our morning, She watched me prance around dressed only in Her used undies. She walked in on my having a morning pee... i was sitting like a good girl, which - for me is not sooo unusual, but this time, when She walked in... my knees were together, clitty tucked under, panties just pulled to the knees. i was posed and pissing like a good girl. And i let Her see. Even if She didnt make the connection... im sure, somewhere inside, She will begin to see me less as a man, and more as Her little girl.

After the pee, i tucked under, but not sever... but flatter nonetheless. I made the bed and prepared my things, while wearing with no standing clit. Like a girl. She didnt complain. In fact, She left... happy?

Cross Dreaming pt2

So... the other day... i told you all about my recent sissy cravings for crossdressing..... hehe... i guess this is part two.... it was the next day, three days ago at this rate... as the day started, i took a few pics thinking i might like to post them at some point.. but as the day ended, i KNEW i would post them... so without further ado....

    SO i was showered, self-fucked, pussy gaping, looking for clothes.... uh oh.... no clean undies. I checked a boys room... HE HAS NO UNDIES EITHER! shit.. this place needs a maid.... hehehe.....

    i was just considering going commando...... always a sexy option... but.. well, honestly? my pussy was SORE! and examining the pants i was going to wear.. i had NO desire to have a rough corduroy seam running up and down my swollen pussy lips.... what to do.....

    Then i noticed... the panties missus wore last night... they were on top of HER hamper. When i watched her put them on... i thought they were kinda cute, girly with a polka dot pattern. Cute little cotton bikini Victoria's Secret  panties..... hmmmmmm... what to do? hehe.. YOU know what i did....

cute, no?

Sissy Status Update 6/12

~OR~ A Bit of CrossDreaming To Ease The sissy Inside.

So, an update of my sissy yearnings is due.

Having less time to dress and 'live' my SL as nicole has had me a bit depressed. i have pulled out a pair of my favorite panties and been wearing more often to get that... girly feeling. Missus has been working my pussy lots.. and thats nice.... but.. shame really, she doesnt understand that i need more... lots more.

Sent my Mommy this photo the other day... was thinking about her as i was dressing for work. Think She liked it? Would you like to get this in your email?

 

Where did i go? (or... what happened to nic?)

So my SL friends may be wondering where i am. Laying low... that's where.

Let me explain. Some of you know that i am closeted in RL. i am in a long term (supposed to be) monogamous relationship (i know, i know.... i feel bad about it already). The missus didn't really have any idea of who i am inside. i was too afraid to let her know.

A few weeks ago.... she almost caught me. Being in SL requires lots of typing... an entire world and many people to interact with only through text chat means lots of continuous typing. While my missus normally leaves me alone, and previous claims of 'im playing a game' satisfied her... it was the constant and continuous typing all day long that raised her suspicions.

i have been in sl for almost, just about, almost, a year now.She has requested many times to 'see' my 'game'. Since my avi is a sissy, and my profile is sissy-ish... and all my friends are sissies and want to fuck... well.... i couldn't exactly sit her down and show her the world in which i was living.

One night, she was fed up. - Tha'ts how she gets... if something bothers her, she my go for weeks, maybe months, without saying anything, but then.... at some point she'll blow up all of a sudden.

That's how it went that night.

Would YOU come 'out' to this person??

"WHAT are YOU typing in here?!? Let me see what you were doing RIGHT NOW!"

"SHOW ME!" Eventually she sat in my chair and started to poke around on my computer.... only her ignorance was saving me at that point.She was about to click on my minimized porn window..... my blog opened to a page of my own dick sucking stories! I quickly hit the power button on my system ---  but NOT before a quick flask of small shaved dick flashed onto the screen as programs immediately shut down.

"WHAT WAS THAT!?!? TURN THIS BACK ON RIGHT NOW!!!!!"

Starting it back up was safe... i only browse porn in a 'private' browser (no history). But now--- she was sitting and poking and clicking everything. I was fairly confident she would not stumble upon my downloaded porn and pic files... i had hidden them well.... that folder contains enough evidence of my sissy self hypnosis and pictures and stories to really ruin everything.

At some point... she found a fucking Windows 7 'Recently accessed files" search category. Hehe - seems her 'ignorance' helped her stumble into an area that i had never seen -- i don't use any of the built in searches, and has removed many of the references to them.... but she didn't know enough to NOT wander around the system into areas that there should be no user data -- in this example, ignorance worked FOR her. At any rate, as soon as i saw what she was doing... and i saw her scroll through the picks and files... i began to see images i had posted HERE!

At first there was nothing too bad... just pics of girls crying..... but then the AYA logo for BSDM sissies was in the list... and i knew i could let her scroll no longer ----- POWER DOWN AGAIN!

She was livid!

She now KNOWS i was hiding something.. i fessed up to porn --- i told her that i didn't want to show her because it was embarrassing. And before you thing that i should have just told her --- realize this whole time she is yelling, being mean, putting me down, and really NOT welcoming or making me feel safe or comfortable in being honest.

Since that fateful night..... I have been seriously hiding. No more SL -- at least not while ANYONE is home. No more dressing under my clothes. No more cockluv.

The WORST is the no more SL. i miss my family sooooo bad i miss my Mommy the Governess, i miss my clowny sister my fiance', i miss my clowny niece, my good friend Narigan, my sisters and all my friends. Nicolette feels like she is dieing inside.... i have no sissy friends... no body to make me feel like a girl... no one who can treat me as the submissive good girl i want to be sooo bad. i think of what must be going on at my home sim, and i begin to get really sad --- i miss all of you girls.

The good news? Well -- prollly NOT co-incidental, but.... the missus has been giving me a lot more sex... every few days at least... AND.. she has finally started to give me what i need. She calls me names (bitch boi, slut, pussy boy) and she fucks my pussy with a toy, but most often her fingers, as i jerk for her amusement. i ONLY cum from being penetrated now. Once, she even let me creampie her, then she mounted my face for a proper cleanup....

But she still attacks me every few days as well... she wont drop it... she wants to 'know what you're doing". And she still thinks i'm cheating every time i'm on the computer... even though i haven't done anything wrong for a couple of weeks now.

Dont think im all manly now though true believers --- this sissy keeps her dildoes close -- and i take a LOT more showers now.... hehehehehe.


Anyway --- if any of my friends in SL read this... please pass the link to any other friends who are wondering where i am. please? pretty please with my cherry on top?

My email still works friends --- this sissy would love to hear from you. I try to send email to my closest loved ones... but well, its rare that they reply. Nicole jumps for joy every time she sees an email from a friend of hers. Please.... it would be nice.

This sissy faggot misses all of you... please hug me tonight? whisper in your brain that everything will be ok. tell me that someday ill get to be the sissy i want to be... please?

Love You,
nico (Nickles) Greymyst
**kisses!**

Futa Anime Anyone?

So... my sexual fantasies right now always have me in the submissive position...... always... it's the ONLY way i can get off anymore, and never without being filled in some way at the same time.

Doesn't matter if im looking at / thinking about... bois being fucked by pegging girls, women, Men, shemales... or girls being fucked and sucking huge cocks of trannies or Men.... or a pretty sissy being used in any way at all... doesnt matter the senario... its all works for me... i ALWAYS identify with the bottom!

And.... idont know what happened... but i never see any white stuff unless my cunt is stretched around some kind of intruder (the only exception? when the missues mounts my face, pulls my hair, and i envision a BBC plowing her pussy and ass, cumming inside / on my face).

hehe.. i dont know why i think this video is in some way related to that, giggles.... but... i thought you might like it... i sure do!

enjoy!

hit the jump to see the vid!

my dream

How i wish someone would change me from this:

not me.. but damned close

To this:

so feminine...

A Nice Day

OMG OMG OMG finally got so much off my chest last night! She Loves me... and is not leaving me! i don't know if it is right thing or not.. it would sure be easier the other way... but i hope to stay with Her in whatever way i can... maybe one day She will take me as Hers. i dream.... Love is an amazing thing... as much as it hurt.. no matter how it made me feel inside.. i knew that i had to make things easy for Her... i tried to ... well... i shouldn't air my dirty panties in public.... it's enough to say She is staying with me, and i will continue to be Hers. YAY!

So anyway... last night... i coaxed my missus into using me... i got to dream of my loving Princess treating me as the cumslut i am. Breeding my missus as i cleaned the fuckslop drippings from their union. She would laugh at me and tell me to clean my wife as She took what was rightfully mine. i swallowed a large dollop of Princess's cum straight off of missus pussy lips, i pulled her down into fucking my face... her clit a substitute dick in my gaping mouth... my eyes closed, Princess was feeding me.. mercilessly, shoving Her She-Prick into my newly opened throat. i spurted all over the sheets and pillows.. and like a true pig, i rolled over and slept in it, dreaming of Princess load on me.

Thanx to http://dirtylittletrannywhore.tumblr.com -- i wish i knew how to reblog correctly

Sooo Much To Say!

So quick update on me.... nah.. let's not. Been hard without Her around, and i could go on and on....

Can't keep my hands off myself lately... dressing and playing all the time. Sat the other day with my glass daddy in my pussy for four hours! But that's another story....

Missus has been milking me almost every two days as well... this morn she went right for my pussy as i stroked! i let her... i dont play shy anymore... i beg her to fuck me.....

my new tactic to get her to accept me... every now and again... i make her take her dirty panties off, and slip them up my legs.. put them on me... then i wear them all day. giggles! She dont like it.. but i think its workin.....

Been dressing.. lots! Wearing my panties a few times a week now. Either under my boy undies.. or even.. as my only undies! Once, recently, i have to work onsite.. late for a widow, she's sweet and clueless. i took the oppertunity to fully dress in my fav outfit.. pink lacy panties, pink lacy bra, thigh highs... NO boy undies!

OMG! my clitty was chubby for hours!, i kept having to retuck! i think she saw my stockings as i crawled under her desk... i gave a little tushy wiggle, just to let her know i was a fairy! Here's a pic i took in her bathroom!

Sissy Ass Training! Breed me!

i so want this!
i so want to be the gurls in this video!
i want to worship cock and please it!
i want to catch the spurts of creamy goodness!
i want to be knocked up by a hard cock!

giggles.. hehe.....

Got the missus to finger me again today... i had her ride my thigh (i felt like such the lesbo!) and finger my pussy as i was jerking. Pulling her free hand to my tit, urging her to pull my nip and stretch my tit... but she is too gentle, i think it weirds her out, but she tries.

Once she started on my tit, grinding away on me, her finger tip poking, teasing my pucker.. i got bold and pushed her hand harder into my pussy. i scrunched down and started to grind her thigh in return... OMG... i was being such the lesbo slut! She got the hint and slipped further into me,

Staring at her i could only picture my Princess, over me, using me... i was dreaming of Her and Her she-cock. i needed to be fucked... and hard. i soooo wanted to have her get fully in between my legs so i could fantasize Princess between my knees giving me Her dick, making me Hers, Taking me as Her girl. But, i knew i was pushing the 'gay' thing with missus, so i didnt try to move.

Still though, i made it work, bouncing my hips into her thigh, her fingers up my pussy, im telling her to 'fuck me' over and over, dreaming of Princess laughing at me, using me as Her toy for amusement... i spurted..... LOTS!

i gave the usual return finger favors.... and she gets off on me using my cummies to rub her off, but this time, my fingers made a pit stop to my tongue first, then to her twat, and eventually her ass. When i started to bring her off, i was able to remove my fingers and suck the mess of us right off them before she recovered enough to notice.

Current Training Status

OK sweeties.... if you have read my entries... you have seen some of my own attempts to train myself as a good sissy girl. What you might not know is some of my stories are a little old, or, take place in the past (of varying years). I will use the header 'Current Training' for those stories which take place 'now'.

Brief overview.....
My current missus is not aware of my sissy side. Then again.. maybe she is. i know she suspects, but because of her prejudice, i cannot come-out in a safe environment. i will lose my house and support of my family... although, maybe that's not a bad thing. If i no longer had to worry about the missus, i would be free to serve my Princess full time.. but.. that's another entry....

I have recently been trying to ... break her in.... slowly. I have started to wear her panties.. but with her knowledge. i'll wait for a morning... well, lemme just tell you how this morning went....

i woke up and cuddled her, as is typical of couples who are not repulsed from one another. she rolled and some kissing and rubbing later... we were humping each other. i had her tities pulled over her low shirt neck, they were on display and presented for my fun. she started to strip her panties off (to make room for my probing fingers) when i made her 'switch' undies with me.

She didn't want to, but i kinda made her.... i made her pull her own panties up my legs and over my hips. Her pretty paisley purple/pink cotton bikini's, holding my butt, covering my cock. She stopped complain when she was caressing and grabbing me through the panties... pretty sure it turned her on. She asked if i wanted to eat her as i j/o (the typical way i reach my 'O'), or if i wanted to be fingered (as i was already pressing her fingers into my hole). i opted for the face ride as that normally works for me (it is difficult to cum darlings, again... another post, another time).

Straddling my face, she refused to work me from both ends, although i was she would have... poke my pussy while sliming my slut face? - Oh Heaven! She did face fuck me nicely, cutting off my air, rubbing her wet snatch into my face, grinding herself off as i jerked my stiff clitty. Unfortunately... i needed more if i was to spurt this morning.

Pushed her off, and she layed down, pulling her slimy folds away... bummer. But then... she came up with some found lube and quickly was inserting her finger.. i was still wearing her panties. She was smiling as she worked my little hole.. she is quite rough... i think she is punishing me for being gay... idk, the wicked smile on her face seems to confirm it.

On my back with sissy legs spread, she roughly worked my inside pillow as i pulled my gurly pud. Eventually, i spurted and spurted all over myself as she poked and rubbed my pillow non-stop. i had a boicum AND a girlcum at the same time! it was really awesome! 'SPURT' 'SPURT' my whole body shuddered and stiffened, i grunted as i spurted and whimpered as my pussy spasmed! In the end.. like a girl.. i had to grab her hand and make her stop rubbing as i came down from my cum... it occurred, i just had my first girlcum in front of her!

To end our session, she got on all fours in my lap as i used my load to lube her button. i rubbed her off and fingered her asshole and called her names until she shuddered and came herself. This is the typical end to our sexy times.

As she got up to get to the shower, i fixed and continued to wear her sexy panties. In fact, guess what i am wearing right. now. She knows, and thinks im just weird. but this is great for two reasons....
1) i can wear panties without having to cover up with boy undies.
2) she knows i am wearing so there is no hiding and shameful changing in secret.

i have managed to get her panties on (with her approval) for an entire day with her knowledge a few times in the past few weeks. i have also managed to get her to finger fuck me a few times as well. So i guess.. this is also a blog of how i am trying to get her welcome to the idea of me dressing and fucking like a girl. It is the slow route to be sure... but i AM a scared little sissy!

Maybe.. if you ask nicely... i will post a pic of me in her panties today. Currently, i am hairy again, no Nair recently, no razors either... but if you want a sissy faggot to humiliate herself for you.. then i need your comments and post ratings... please? PRETTY PLEASE?!?! Pretty PLEASE with my boi pussy on top?!?!?

giggles